How To: Deal with Cryptic Ob/Gyns

Few women are gifted with doctors who are clear and concise when describing what can be expected during pregnancy, or even clearly illustrating what their concerns might be. Getting information about hospital policies and what services are offered can be like pulling teeth!

I've learned this firsthand at the mercy of my doctors office, while competent they aren't the best communicators. At my last prenatal visit my new OB was checking fundal height, (For those who do not know, fundal height is a measurment from the top of your pubic bone to the top of your uterus. This can be used to determine how far along you are in pregnancy.) which will be done at every prenatal visit, and he got a very perplexed look on his face. This is never a good sign.

He double checked my chart and his measurement and told me he wanted to schedule another ultrasound. Needless to say, this concerned me slightly, and I asked him if everything was alright. Was something wrong with my daughter? All he had time to say was "Your measuring small, and since you measured large at your 21 week ultrasound, we need to check to make sure your daughter is growing correctly".

This came as somewhat of a shock to me, could she somehow be growing incorrectly?!
At that moment a nurse came in and told Dr. Wills that he was needed down the hall. He turned and told me to set an appointment for the ultrasound within the next week, and also to set my regular OB appointment for exactly 2 weeks following that date. This was all I heard from them.
I set my appointments, and went home in a daze. Questions were flying through my head so fast it felt like I had a wasps nest between my ears.

How serious was this?
Could it just have been her lying in a funny position?
If there is something wrong, what is it?
What will we do if this is something serious?
Do I really have to wait a whole week to find out?

So, how do you deal with doctors who feel less than inclined to let you know what's going on behind the scenes? First, organize your thoughts. Going in thinking that you are going to get all the answers about their expectations of you and what you should be able to expect from then is all well and good, but if your anything like me the moment you sit down in that office every single question you have will go whizzing out of your head. Then you leave wondering what just happened, and none of your questions have been answered because you just sort of nodded dumbly through your whole appointment.

So- and I can't emphasize this enough- before every prenatal appointment, MAKE A LIST!!!
This will help you figure out what is most important to you, what is weighing on your mind, what will help you take better care of yourself now so you can have a healthier baby at the end of your pregnancy.

Secondly, DEMAND their time. They are busy people, these doctors have a lot on their plates, and they sometimes loose touch with the human aspect of their patients. Sure, they know where all the pieces are supposed to go, but they don't know how to relate to you on a personal level. They can't understand how scared you are, that this isn't something that is normal to you. Dr.'s deal with pregnancy on a daily basis, so your individual experience just doesn't seem that individual to them.

So, if you are having trouble getting your doctor to talk to you rather than at you, try bringing out your list, and maybe express to them your worries. Don't let them pass you off to someone else, make it clear that theirs is the opinion that you want. When confronted with a patient who actually brings the issue to the forefront of the conversation a doctor will more often than not realize that they are dealing with a real person with real feelings, not a name on a chart.

I would like to mention that there are exceptional OB's out there who really get to know their patients, have a good relationship with them, where there is a healthy back and forth. But this post is aimed at the patients of doctors who maybe have 'less than stellar' personal skills, but who are otherwise excellent physicians who will do everything in their power to ensure that you and your child emerge from your pregnancy healthy and prepared for the next 18 years together.

And that concludes today's entry. My second ultrasound is scheduled for Thursday, June 3rd, and I'll post if there is any news, good or bad. I haven't found any info on the net about what might be wrong, I just don't have enough information to go on. If anyone who reads has ever had a Dr. tell them something like that, if they wouldn't mind commenting with the result or emailing me @ cshallett@gmail.com, I would be eternally grateful!