26 Weeks and Counting

I've spent my pregnancy (the last 6 and 1/2 months of my life) learning everything I could about what it means to be a parent, how best to handle pregnancy and childbirth, all about the different styles of parenting, and about the practical side of raising a child. I've looked into everything from types of diapers, to environmental effects of different types of plastics in teething toys, to baby wearing, and have become somewhat of an aficionado when it comes to everything not related to the specific hands on experience with my own child. That is to say that I have the theoretical knowledge, and have quite a bit of hands on experience with infants and children, but as of yet I have no real practice on my own child. I blame this on her still being a fetus. Kids, you know?

I was under the grievous misconception that as I learned more about raising a child I would feel better prepared, or at least satisfied, with my preparations. Instead, the more I learn, the more I prepare, the more I feel buried under the weight of my new life, and my new responsibilities. That is not to say that I am discouraged. Not at all! Rather I feel I must work harder to learn more, prepare more, so that I won't look back years from now and chide myself for being unprepared or irresponsible.

Part of the reason I decided to start this blog was so I could help other mothers to feel confident that they had made an informed decision regarding their child. If I cite information on this site, I will provide a link to my most easily accessed source, or at least tell you what organization backs up these ideas. I don't expect anyone to take my word for it, I always double check the source lists in parenting books.

The way I figure it, there are few things in your life that actually matter, few things that will be a part of you until the day you die. If your child doesn't make that list then your doing something wrong. Already it's hard for me to remember my mindset before I found out I was a mother, now everything is about my daughter; what is best for her, what will make her and us happy as a family, am I sure that I'm not missing some harmful influence? I want to find that happy balance between authoritarianism and permissiveness, between over protectiveness and neglect. In other words, I want to be as good of a parent as I possibly can for my baby.

I was told once that there is no 'right' style of parenting. There is only the style that works for one set of parents and their child or children. No one does it exactly the same, and no one does it perfectly. But no baby understands perfection, to an infant, Mommy and Daddy are the end all and be all of their world. So-- in my opinion-- if you are a devoted parent and at least make the effort, your child will be happy with you. But like most perfectionists, I seek the exact right formula for me, my fiance` and our baby. That's truly what this blog should be; an exercise to have me discover this happy medium. I can only hope that this compilation of personal research and recounting of events in my life will also be helpful to someone else.