Those who can't do, teach!

The thing that I hear most often-other than varying and vaguely prying questions about my weight- from my DH, my friends and my family, is that I need to relax, and stress out less. They aren't telling me to drop all the pressures of daily life, or to let others do all the work, no. They just encourage me to find ways to cope with stress that doesn't compromise my health, or that of my baby.

This is the advice I am having the most trouble following, which made me think that other women might be having trouble as well. All the reading I've done says that you should 'take time for yourself', 'try meditation or a relaxing prenatal massage', and 'pamper yourself with a day out with girl friends'.

My question is what to do if your life doesn't allow that level of relaxation? How do you cope with the pressure? I am running out of patience, and something has to give.

Cloth Vs. Disposable ???

Cloth Diapers or Disposable?

This is a discussion that has caused me more trouble with friends and family than just about any other I've made. Most people insist that cloth diapers are too much work, and that anyone who attempts their use will eventually give up in frustration and turn to disposables.

My father in law was among those who thought so. It wasn't until I explained that I'd had experience in 4 different house holds that used cloth diapering exclusively, and that we would save approximately $1500.00 if we went cloth rather than disposable. Since we are a young couple, our pregnancy was unexpected, and we only have one usable vehicle between us at the moment, whatever money we can save is extremely important.

Other couples have other priorities, chief of which is usually convenience, but overall Cloth seems to be the most economical, convenient, Eco-friendly solution, even if it involves a few extra minutes of laundry.

As a final note, there are disposable diapers that I've heard about. From what I understand, they are made out of something other than the petroleum based plastic that typical disposables are made of. I haven't found reference to them on any diaper sites I've visited, but they are outside my range of focus. I imagine they would be more expensive then your typical pack of Huggies, which takes them out of the running for anyone who chooses cloth based on their price.

This isn't the last post I'll be making about diapers, in my next I'll be compiling a review of cloth diaper styles, brands, based on a variety of different criterion.

I've got a lot of research to do, no rest for the wicked.

26 Weeks and Counting

I've spent my pregnancy (the last 6 and 1/2 months of my life) learning everything I could about what it means to be a parent, how best to handle pregnancy and childbirth, all about the different styles of parenting, and about the practical side of raising a child. I've looked into everything from types of diapers, to environmental effects of different types of plastics in teething toys, to baby wearing, and have become somewhat of an aficionado when it comes to everything not related to the specific hands on experience with my own child. That is to say that I have the theoretical knowledge, and have quite a bit of hands on experience with infants and children, but as of yet I have no real practice on my own child. I blame this on her still being a fetus. Kids, you know?

I was under the grievous misconception that as I learned more about raising a child I would feel better prepared, or at least satisfied, with my preparations. Instead, the more I learn, the more I prepare, the more I feel buried under the weight of my new life, and my new responsibilities. That is not to say that I am discouraged. Not at all! Rather I feel I must work harder to learn more, prepare more, so that I won't look back years from now and chide myself for being unprepared or irresponsible.

Part of the reason I decided to start this blog was so I could help other mothers to feel confident that they had made an informed decision regarding their child. If I cite information on this site, I will provide a link to my most easily accessed source, or at least tell you what organization backs up these ideas. I don't expect anyone to take my word for it, I always double check the source lists in parenting books.

The way I figure it, there are few things in your life that actually matter, few things that will be a part of you until the day you die. If your child doesn't make that list then your doing something wrong. Already it's hard for me to remember my mindset before I found out I was a mother, now everything is about my daughter; what is best for her, what will make her and us happy as a family, am I sure that I'm not missing some harmful influence? I want to find that happy balance between authoritarianism and permissiveness, between over protectiveness and neglect. In other words, I want to be as good of a parent as I possibly can for my baby.

I was told once that there is no 'right' style of parenting. There is only the style that works for one set of parents and their child or children. No one does it exactly the same, and no one does it perfectly. But no baby understands perfection, to an infant, Mommy and Daddy are the end all and be all of their world. So-- in my opinion-- if you are a devoted parent and at least make the effort, your child will be happy with you. But like most perfectionists, I seek the exact right formula for me, my fiance` and our baby. That's truly what this blog should be; an exercise to have me discover this happy medium. I can only hope that this compilation of personal research and recounting of events in my life will also be helpful to someone else.